Halloween III: The Unforgettable-Forgettable Sequel

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween/ Eight more days to Halloween/ Silver Shamrock!

MAX:  Stop it. 

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

MAX:  For god's sake, stop it. 

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

MAX:  Stop it. Stop it. 

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

MAX:  STOP IIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIKE:  What's the matter?  Don't you have a Halloween spirit?

MAX:  No!

MIKE:  The concept of the Halloween franchise, as originally conceived by producers/writers John Carpenter and Debra Hill, was that each new Halloween movie was to be a different story.  The original film and its sequel followed Michael Myers (a mask wearing, knife wielding killer) chasing after the sweet, innocent Lori Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis).  The first film was a ground breaking movie in the horror genre, and fans gobbled it up; they wanted more of this Myers character, and when they saw that there was going to be a Halloween III, the masses cheered.  However, Halloween III: Season of the Witch didn't deliver on the Mike Myers goods, and fans called foul.  Out of the said franchise, Season of the Witch is often considered to be the worst film of the bunch.  I disagree whole heartedly with that point of view, and consider this movie to be completely under-appreciated for what it was trying to do: tell a new, original horror story that takes place on Halloween.  I love my killers (Freddy, Jason, and Michael), but franchises have a way of deluding those characters and stories into walking, slashing clichés.  Halloween III is a fun horror movie with an interesting concept that deals with ancient Celtic practices and myths.  I think it's funny that Max and I have reviewed two movies this month (Trick’r Treat being the other) that deal with ancient traditions and folklore.  Maybe that's why I love this movie so much...that and Tom Atkins, of course. 

MAX:  Agreed.  The first time I saw Halloween III: Season of the Witch, I was in high school and it was playing in the afternoon on AMC during their annual month long October horror movie marathon.  I was so excited to watch it because I thought it was a Michael Myers movie that I'd never seen before, though I soon learned that it had absolutely nothing to do with the previous Halloween films.  By the end of the movie, I remember being bored and really irritated that I had just wasted 2 hours of my life on this weirdness.  Now, today, I absolutely love it.  That's because if you're a real horror fan, you have to love Halloween III.  You have to love Halloween III because you toughed it out and sat through it, and the more you think about it, it's actually a very fun movie with a cheesy (but amazing) plot.  It may seem outrageous to say this, but I think if more modern horror movies displayed the kind of imagination that went into Halloween III, we'd have a better bunch of movies out today.  That's because Halloween III was a labor of love.  It may have been a box office failure but it will always be considered (an arguable) genre success. 

MIKE:  What might be the movie's down fall, is probably its greatest triumph: the ridiculous acting.  What helps the viewer to mull through this film's story are the actors, lead by none other than Tom Atkins.  I'm going to attempt to spare the reader my man-love-obsession with Mr. Atkins, but the man is a fucking genius when it comes to being a character actor, and he IS quite the character in every movie I've seen him in (Night of the Creeps being my favorite Atkins film).  Atkins gives life to an otherwise dull character, Dr. Daniel Challis (I don't even like the name).  His interactions with all of the other characters, especially the female ones who seem to undress Atkins with their eyes, give this film the perfect lightheartedness to unsettle the viewer from the horrors taking place.  I'm personally a fan of the special effects (though, by far, not nearly as good as other classic horror films), and the creepy men in suits who turn up whenever the shit is about to hit the fan. 

MAX:  Tom Atkins, in my opinion, is probably the spiritual figure-head of 80's horror.  Whether he's a dad that hates "horror crap", a tired beat detective, or an alcoholic sea-faring bachelor, Atkins always manages to bring a fantastic combination of masculine bravado, cheap cologne and Schlitz to every role he's in.  However, (aside from Night of the Creeps), I think it's Halloween III where Atkins really shines.  The way he pats the nurse on the butt, flirts with female doctors, and avoids his ex-wife and children to go play "Sherlock" with a suspiciously young girl in a cheap motel, you kind of just have to admire this guy.  Besides that, I love the way he rattles off lines like, "Slow down, slow down.  It's getting late and I could use a drink."    This is truly his movie.  Atkins sells the whole thing. 

MIKE:  Agreed.  Atkins is always given the best catch phrases.  However, the actual plot is a bit like trying to swallow a jagged jawbreaker whole--it ain't going to happen.  A news report near the beginning of the movie explains that one of the famous stones of Stonehenge has been mysteriously stolen, but this seems irrelevant given in which the movie starts off (a guy running away from strange men wearing suits, while holding a pumpkin mask).  Honestly, the lack of interest in this news piece as seen by the characters (hell, even the announcer of the story lacks any emotional care or curiosity about a two-ton ancient stone vanishing without a trace), makes the brief clip forgettable.  I know I wasn't thinking about it when it's revealed to be hiding in one of the warehouses at the Silver Shamrock factory. The idea is that a Warlock, guised as an elderly business man, is harnessing the power of this particular stone (the moon stone to be specific) to murder a bunch of kids, because the stars and planets are perfectly aligned and ancient practices requires a sacrifice.  The reasoning is not very clear, except that the junction or equinox, or whatever demands for blood to be spilled.  It sounds like I'm bashing the movie, but I'm not.  I really enjoy this concept, though I think the execution misfired. 

MAX:  Atkins (to girl): Misfire? What the hell were they talking about?

MAX(continued):  You are absolutely right in that this is a misfire, and a very enjoyable one at that.  I think it's the fact that they aimed so high with the occult/Stonehenge angle.  You just can't make references to Stonehenge and have it not be funny...I mean, think about This is Spinal Tap!  Of course, it's the absolute seriousness with which this plot is treated that puts things over the edge and makes the movie so ultimately endearing.   The protagonists in this film are staying in an Irish town in California by the name of Santa Mira, where they are trying to infiltrate a Halloween-mask making company called Silver Shamrock.  I don't think a screenplay with that premise could ever get sold today, and the enthusiasm with which they tried to push the suspense in this basically dead story is beyond commendable, it's applaudable.  Somehow, at least for die-hard horror fanatics, this movie still possesses re-watchability.  I would attribute that in part to the influence of Carpenter and Hill as producers.  This film has the "classic Carpenter" feeling to it both in the synth heavy score and soft glowing visuals.  And of course where the visuals are concerned, I can't neglect to mention Dean Cundey.  Carpenter's always faithful cinematographer really serves it up in this movie, adding an atmospheric touch to scenes that could have just as easily looked bland and banal. 

MIKE:  I think what we need to do here, though we've pretty much have gone through half of the review without really talking about it, is explain the story to our viewers.  Dr Daniel "Dan" Challis (again, a really bad character name) played by our favorite Tom Atkins, works at a hospital when a strange man, clutching a child's Halloween mask, and gripped in silent fear, manages to mumble to the doctor, "They're going to kill us.  All of us!"  Challis brushes of the man's rants as mere hysteria, but the mystery thickens when a strange tall man, wearing a business suit and black gloves, visits the patient at the hospital and breaks his skull.  The man in the suit then goes to his car and sets himself on fire (made me think of a modern-day terrorist of sorts), and leaves behind only charred remains of metal, plastic, and gear bits.  Challis is then visited by the dead patient's daughter, Ellie Grimbridge (another really bad sounding character name), and the two of them go to a small town to investigate the mask making factory the Silver Shamrock, and become entangled in the town's dark secrets. 

MAX:  Yeah once Challis and Ellie are entangled in the creepy town, the darkness begins to emerge piece by piece, kind of like in a Lovecraft story.  Except unlike Lovecraft, I'm not sure I would say that the town's secret reveals anything truly "horrifying," per say.  The conspiracy behind the Silver Shamrock Factory, which you alluded to earlier, is absolutely fantastic. While it is, in most ways, a very satisfying explanation, it’s still just comes off more corny than scary.  At the same time, while the moments of action and suspense in this film are not all that scary, there are still some really great special effects that honestly never get old for me.  The effects in this movie are about as fun to watch as any other movie from this era.  No one who loves 80's horror can really forget that part in the motel bed, or the Kupfer family's test viewing of that catchy Silver Shamrock commercial. 

MIKE:  Snakes, grubs, and bugs. Oh my! 

MAX:  I think there is something so wrong about that scene...once again...I'm not going to say it's scary...but you just don't see a lot of children meeting with gruesome deaths like that these days...not in such a graphic way, anyhow.  Maybe it's the fact that it happens in front of his parents...I don't know.

MIKE:  I think what works for that scene in particular is that you never think to yourself, "Gee, I hope this mask that I'm buying doesn't cause my head to burst open like a piñata, spilling creepy crawly things all over the place." 

MAX:  So, so true.  It's such a weird idea I almost have to wonder how they came up with it.  In a way, that's kind of how I feel about the whole story line...that it's just a bunch of ridiculous half-baked ideas that one would never actually commit to paper.  Yet in this case the writers actually did.  And it's commendable too.

MAX(continued):  Also that Silver Shamrock theme song....It's like the horror movie version of "The Song That Doesn't End" from Lamb Chop.  I mean, that song alone, kind of makes the whole movie for me. 

MIKE:  I bet the idea behind this story stems from some writer's kid going, "This would be totally gross...such and such," and then the writer going, "I've got nothing better than this."

MIKE(continued):  I agree that the music is infectious.  Once I start thinking about it I can't get it out of my head: the carnival music repeats over and over, and then the words repeat over and over...AAAAHHHHH!!!!  GET OUT...OF...MY...MIND!!!!! 

MAX:  Well with that iconic jingle firmly stuck in our heads, it's time to weigh in with our Bloody Nubs of approval for this film.  Personally, while I acknowledge people's distaste for this movie, I would encourage people who have already seen it to go back and watch it with a more open mind.  This is not really part of the Halloween franchise, but it is a quintessential Halloween movie all the same.  If you are looking for something truly creepy to watch, you may want to stick with Freddy or Michael, but if you want to watch a seasonal movie that is laugh out loud fun and goofy, this is a sure thing!  I give it one Bloody Nub down for being not such a great movie, but another Bloody Nub up for consistently kicking ass!

MIKE:  Tom Atkins makes Halloween III: Season of the Witch worth viewing.  He takes the crappiest screenplay and turns it into pure gold by portraying his character very seriously.  This movie fails to do what Carpenter and Hill intended it to do, which was to tell another gripping horror story that takes place on Halloween night, and unfortunately sets up the rest of the franchise to rape the hell out of Michael Myers with shittier storytelling.  I give this film one Bloody Nub up for originality and Atkins, but one MAJOR Bloody Nub down for basically begging the studio to revisit and fuck up the original Michael Myers story.

Seasons Greetings!

MIKE:  Hey, Max!  I've got a couple of movies we can watch tonight.

MAX:  Oh, really?  What have you got?  Something Halloween appropriate?

MIKE:  Of course!  We can watch Trick'r Treat...

MAX:  Yeah that sounds like it would be a good pick for the month of Halloween...

MIKE:  ...or--wait for it--It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! 

MIKE:  Whatcha think?

MAX:  What?  CHARLIE BROWN IS AN ASSHOLE.

MIKE:  Trick'r Treat it is.  Roll it!

MAX:  Trick 'r Treat (2007) is a fun, anthology horror movie that may be a modern heir to Creepshow.  The basic premise is that a small town is having their annual Halloween celebration, and in the mix of the festivities, a number of strange and paranormal events happen, causing the lives (and deaths) of several townspeople to collide.  The opening credits and transitions between scenes are presented in the style of a classic era horror comic, lending these vignettes a fun vintage quality which we've come to expect from the likes of CREEPY and EC comics.  Most importantly, though, this movie is a love letter to Halloween.  The attention to Octoberisms like orange colored lights and fresh fallen leaves really makes for a nostalgic reminiscence on the joy of trick or treating.  This is a good one to watch while carving a jack o’lantern, or with a bowl full of candy corns to eat.

MIKE:  Trick'r Treat is a love letter to the myths and urban legends of Halloween--I would be hesitant to say that I get a nostalgic feeling while watching this movie, because I don't remember razors in candy bars or carving jack o’lanterns out of a severed child's head.  However, the stories you heard as a kid, "Always check your candy; Never walk alone, always go with a friend; wear reflective strips," were things I was told about.  That's what I love about Trick'r Treat, it plays off of those superstitions, and then digs up some of the older mythos (think pilgrims and even later than that), and plays them out perfectly.  The opening sequence is one of the best we've reviewed, thus far.  We almost see the entire cast from low angle shots, as this fat little boy, with chocolate stains around his lips, walks throughout the town and into the suburban neighborhood where he is knocking over pumpkins.  I loved this concept of tying in all of the stories together, even if the characters really don't interact with one and other, except with a bump in passing, or the turning of a head to overhear a bit of dialog.

MAX:  Well, from the sound of it, Mike, you had some rather dull Halloweens.  My family always hid razors in the candy bars and every year we carved a minimum of one jack o’lantern from a child's severed head.  Anyway, I agree with you about the way they managed to tie the stories together, here.  I also liked that the characters don't really interact with one another, their paths just tend to cross by coincidence.  I see this in a lot of art films, but here it feels more natural, somehow.  Maybe that's because it's All Hallows Eve and anything can happen.

MIKE:  Sure, anything can happen on Halloween, but I think it's just the intelligent directing of Michael Dougherty that keeps this film so neatly tied up.  I love the introduction to Sam, the spirit of Halloween: he's a potato sack mask wearing, footy pajama costume, big-headed (literally) kid who seems to affect each scene with his presence.  Do you remember that bit where the drunk husband and wife (a young couple) come home from the big Halloween party downtown, and the wife blows out the candle in the jack o’lantern, that was priceless.  The husband warns her not to, she asks why, and all he could say was, "Ancient tradition?"  Then she blows out the light and starts taking down the decorations.  Now, I'm the kind of guy who'll leave his decorations up well into the new year (black, rotting pumpkins look so cool covered in snow), so I was appalled by her lack of love and respect for the holiday (my favorite holiday, I might add).  Sam must have shared my sentiments, because he hides in the basket where she is tossing all of the sheets used to make up the ghosts in the yard, and when he pops up, slashing at her with a jagged lolly pop, I was cheering for little guy to cut her up.  The look on the faces of the kids walking by as they see blood (the fight is obscured by the sheet) squirts and splatters from under the sheet, is hilarious.  This is one of the best setups to a horror film that we've seen in a long time.  Am I gushing too much?

MAX:  No I don't think so.  I gush pumpkin guts all over the opening sequence of this movie.  Sam is the narrator of sorts, and even though he doesn't say anything, the way in which he observes characters (and sometimes interferes) is very telling.  I think another real strength of this movie is the casting.  In the scene we both previously mentioned involving the candy bar razor and child decapitation, we get a (surprisingly) comedic interplay between Charlie (Brett Kelly of Bad Santa fame) and Principal Steven Wilkins (Dylan Baker, or as we might remember him, the uber-creepy father from Happiness).  The interesting thing about Baker in this part is that it's almost a natural reprise of the earlier role, in that he is still a "responsible" father figure and school principal, but also someone capable of harming children.  And then of course there’s Anna Paquin in the role of the mysterious red riding hood, "Danielle." I'll confess I'm not a big fan of the True Blood series, but whenever I watch her in this movie, I wish that I was.

MIKE:  I hear Anna Paquin is really hot in the True Blood series, but I'm a bit burnt out on Vampires, and I'm not a big fan of Charlaine Harris' writing.  What I think is interesting about Paquin and her friends (Her older sister and two other girls), is what the audience isn’t picking up on, because they seem perfectly normal.  In fact, I would have thought that they would all die horribly, because they come across as the typical slutty girls that ALWAYS die in the horror movie.  When the girls' true forms are finally revealed (at an awesome bon fire blood orgy, no less) lines like, "I ate bad Mexican," become clear.  It's one of my favorite scenes, because the transformations are so amazing. 

MAX:  I love the werewolf transformation that the girls do in this movie.  It really gives new meaning to the term, "strip show."  Ha-ha-ha-ha!  No seriously, though, the collective feeding the girls do on that group of unsuspecting males is really the atmospheric high point of this film.  I love how they softly scored it to Marilyn Manson's cover of Sweet Dreams, and the orange harvest moon in the sky at the end of that sequence is a nice touch.

MIKE:  You know what else was a nice touch? No CGI.

MAX:  Yes.  That is one of the nice things about this movie, isn't it?

MIKE:  The special effects (transformations, blood, and gore) were awesome.  I even loved the fake death scenes that the kids do when they play a mean trick on the unsuspecting Rhonda (she seems a bit mentally not that).  The attention to detail is beautiful, and very unsettling.  I think it will leave the viewers squirming in their seats.

MAX:  Yes, that segment where the kids perform the prank on Ronda is also strong.  No real FX needed there.  The kids in creepy-ass masks coming up from out of the water is enough to scare us plenty (both times it happens).  The history of those kids on the bus is one of the Halloween "urban legends" you mentioned earlier.  It's also the only story line that completely carries over into another part of the film. 

MIKE:  That's an interesting point that you make.  The story, which is supposed to be an urban legend, turns out to be true when those dead kids rise from the depths of the quarry (an amazing scene).  What I liked about the telling of the story is when you see the bus driver (who had gone down with the kids) emerge from the water, gasping, and with a permanent wheeze, because, if you were paying attention, you would have recognized that wheeze from an earlier scene when you hear Steven Wilkin's neighbor rambling and wheezing from behind the fence.

MAX:  Great observation.  While I certainly understood that old Mr. Kreeg was the bus driver by the end of the film, I never caught the wheezing connection you just made from that scene near the beginning.  I love it when directors drop subtle hints as to what we can expect.  Sometimes it takes me four or five viewings of a film before I pick up on that sort of thing.  What did you think about the end sequence involving Mr. Kreeg (Brian Cox) and Sam in Kreeg's house?  I enjoy this part of the film because I think it's rich in atmosphere, and I also like the follow up with the urban legend, as we already mentioned.  On the other hand, I would say if one of the vignettes in Trick r Treat moves the slowest for me, this one would be it.  There is something about the pacing of this segment that drags a little.  I find that's not necessarily uncommon in anthology horror films.  In Creepshow I always tend to zone a little bit during the "Something to tide you Over" segment with Leslie Nielsen.  I don't think it's necessarily a reflection on the overall film in either case.  It's just that not every part of an anthology is going to make the same kind of impact, you know?

MIKE:  I think, much like the scene you mentioned from Creepshow, that it seems to play a bit more slowly, because it's supposed to be scary and funny.  Mr. Kreeg is utterly terrified of Sam--this supernatural kid who has broken into his house--and is going to extreme measures (e.g. a shot gun) to blow this creepy terror away.  Much like Leslie Nielson’s scene in Creepshow, where he goes to extreme and somewhat comical measures to kill Ted Danson's character (he has to watch his girlfriend drown, while, at the same time, he is drowning), the segments from both films, in my opinion, drags a little, because of the mix of humor and horror.  Let's be honest here, even though I love the Evil Dead series, there are parts that seem to drag, and that's because the building of suspense while incorporating humor needs a little more time to formulate.

MAX:  This is a really brilliant point you raise, Mike.  I agree that both of these segments are strong and I think the reason I respond to them the way that I do may be on account of my slight impatience with the humor/horror combo.  I am a big fan of the first Evil Dead, but the more comical that series became the more I basically lost interest.  There is definitely a lot of truth in what you are saying.  Humor/Horror scenarios take time to build and play out.  All the same, I do think humor has worked effectively in Trik r' Treat and all the film rounds out very strong.

MAX:  With that said, we trick or treaters in the balcony are ready to weigh in with our bloody nubs of approval for this film.  In my opinion, Trick r' Treat is a guaranteed goody for your pumpkin pail. If the vignettes in this anthology don't fill you with Hell-raisin’ Halloween spirit, I guarantee you are not a Halloween person. I give it two Bloody Nubs up!

MIKE:  Trick'r Treat encompasses everything that I love about Halloween and horror movies: a rich sense of fall, using all of the colors late October is known for, and the perfect utilization of suspense and terror that ties so neatly with other traditional Halloween horror stories.  I give Trick'r Treat two Bloody Nubs up.

MIKE:  Max do you have time to carve this jack o’lantern with me?

MAX:  Sure!

MIKE:  Don't forget to help me with the eyes.

Month of King: The Dead Zone

MIKE:  Hey, Max is something wrong?

MAX:  Yeah, man.  I've got a really bad head ache today.  This really hurts!

MIKE:  Is it a migraine?

MAX:  No...I think I am getting psychic visions of catastrophe in the future again...you know...from that dark place I go to....where I get the psychic visions.  I can't remember what it's called.

MIKE:  You mean The Dead Zone?

MIKE:  ...I'm going to go get a drink.  Want me to bring you back water or something.

MAX:  You don't get it!  THE ICE......IS GONNA BREAK!

MIKE:  It's an ice machine, Max.  Of COURSE the ice is going to break.

MIKE:  ...Paid damn good money for it

MAX:  As he was a bachelor and in nobody's debt, nobody troubled their head anymore about him.

MIKE:  I'm coming right back! Christ, quit being so melodramatic.  I'm going to grab you an Adderall too.

MIKE:  To finish off our month long tribute to Stephen King we're taking a look at one of our favorite, and often forgotten adaptation, The Dead Zone (1983).  This film, directed by David Cronenberg, and starring the great Christopher Walken, is quite possibly one of the best book-to-film adaptations of King's earlier works.  Walken plays the role of Johnny Smith, a man who has a promising future (a girlfriend that he plans to marry, and a career as an English literary teacher), until an unfortunate accident turns his world inside out and robs him of the next five years of his life.  When he wakes up from his coma Johnny is granted a gift (or a curse from his point of view) to read other people's thoughts and see into the future whenever he touches someone. The Dead Zone is a very suspenseful film, masterfully directed by Cronenberg, and well played out by an excellent cast.

MAX:  I really enjoyed re-watching The Dead Zone, and I think it's because this film is actually a very powerful drama.  Don't get me wrong, there are supernatural and horror elements to be found everywhere in this story, but I think that this tale, somewhat along the lines of King adaptations like Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me, ultimately revolves around the lives of characters that we can deeply relate to.  Walken, as Johnny, when we're initially introduced to him, is a really likeable small-town English teacher.  The kind that we all wish we were lucky enough to have.  He recites Poe's "The Raven" out loud to his students, and urges them to read Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving because, "It's about a school teacher who is chased by a headless demon!"  (Nerdy side note: I found this ironic, seeing as Walken would later go on to portray the headless horseman himself in Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow, AMAZING movie..) Anyhow, Johnny is clearly in love with his fellow teacher, Sarah (Brooke Adams), and while their romance might seem a bit on the cheesy side, we still want things to work out for them.  I will add something here that I think is significant too.  The reason we want things to work out for this couple from the very beginning, is because we know that things are NOT going to work out.  In classic moments of suspense that only Cronenberg can deliver, we see Johnny receiving premonitions of his own doom.  First there is the ride on the rickety wooden roller coaster, where his head is literally reeling with an undefined sense of dread.  Then there's the kiss goodnight, where Johnny, still stunned from earlier, ventures out into the stormy night unknowing of the danger that lurks before him.  When that toppled milk truck comes careening at Johnny out of the fog, it appears to him like a space ship, and that's exactly how it collides with him too, immediately obliterating his life as he previously knew it.  Not to mention any life with Sarah.

MIKE:  Sarah and Johnny's relationship is a wholesome-ideological relationship that is often preached about from pulpits.  What I mean is, Walken's character won't even consider spending the night with Sarah, because he feels that intercourse is best experienced when shared when you're married.  It's a noble, albeit a bit corny, stance to take (I'm sorry to say, to our female readers who might want to tap this ass, that I do not share that same philosophy).  Still, I think this dynamic between Johnny and Sarah is what really makes us viewers pang at the thought that their relationship is not going to work out.  When Johnny wakes from his coma and his mother tells him that Sarah has turned her back on him, I couldn't help but feel daggers piercing my own heart when I saw Johnny's anguished face.  Cronenberg really puts the viewer into the hearts and minds of these characters, and when the visions (nightmares to Johnny) start to happen, Cronenberg's craftsmanship has us strapped in for the wild, terrifying ride.

MAX:  Yes, this is a very interesting point you raise.  Walken's character Johnny is clearly of the old-school, and that might have been part of the reason that Sarah couldn't wait for five years.  I mean it's almost painful in a way, if Johnny hadn't of walked away from her that night, not only would he probably not have been struck with the milk truck, he would have gotten laid.  I also think that Johnny's mother's choice of words is very interesting when she tells him that, "she turned her back on you." That's a very harsh way to put it to someone who's just woken up from a five-year coma.  Maybe it's appropriate however, given that this is certainly the way that Johnny feels.  In his state, how could he not feel that way about it?  One minute he was set to be married and the next he wakes up to find himself alone.  When Sarah visits him, he even likens the situation to his favorite literary character Ichabod Crane, saying "As he was a bachelor and in nobody's debt, nobody troubled their head anymore about him."  That's probably my favorite zinger he throws at Sarah.  But I know you have another one Mike.

MIKE:  Ha-ha-ha!  Sarah: "You lost weight."  Johnny: "Call it a coma diet - lose weight while you sleep."  That is one of my favorite lines.  However, I don't think his mother's response was very appropriate.  It might have been appropriate for her character, and given her Christian background and Johnny's moralistic view on sex before marriage, I think it's why she said what she did, but like you had said, "That's a very harsh way to put it."  I think Johnny's morals is very relevant to this story and worth talking about, because once his new powers have developed he is, at first, very reluctant in using them to help people - that is until, what I think, is his upbringing overriding any selfish feelings or trepidations he might have.

MAX:  Yes.  Once he comes to terms with the way his life is going to be, it becomes easier for him to use his powers to help others.  He might have trouble accepting his ability as a "blessing", as he mentions in that famous scene with the sheriff.  But once he intercedes and helps the local police to stop the town’s serial killer, I think he starts to feel better about what he's able to do for his community.  Speaking of that serial killer, what a scene that is when Johnny and the sheriff go charging into that house?  That's one place in the script where I feel this movie briefly flirts with straight-on horror.  There are so many shades of Misery and Carrie in the mother who answers the door.  There's the eerie green light on the staircase, the peeling cowboy themed wallpaper, and let's not forget the epic fall on the scissors.

MIKE:  Fall on the scissors?  You might want to look at that again, because the serial killer clearly thrusts his own head onto the splayed blades.  What I love about this movie is the subtle use of make-up.  Sure, when the killer's body is discovered, twitching in the tub, there's a lot of blood covering the bathroom, but I think it works for that particular scene.  It jars the viewer who has, up to this point, been relatively safe in a Bob Ross New England painting.  The use of special effects and make-up are works of art.  Yes, I'm calling the craftsmanship of the bruises, blistering lips, gunshot wounds, scissors in mouth, and bloody bandages art!  You know why?  They looked realistic.  The special effects in this film, alone are argument enough, at least for me, that CGI is completely overrated and unnecessary.  I promise not to rant on this in every movie we watch, but The Dead Zone is practically flawless in its aesthetic direction, and I feel that young movie watchers/makers (hell, some of the old people too) need to pay special attention to the details that this movie so masterfully uses.

MAX:  Absolutely.  There are so many moments in this film that needed no computer enhancement in order to make them effective.  Like when Johnny finds himself immersed in the room full of fire.  Everything that burns in that little girl's room looks real and that's because it's really burning....the kind of hands on special effects that appear throughout this film, paired with the beautiful New England backdrops for a set, create a feeling of realism to all these events that’s irreplaceable.  In my opinion, even a movie like The Mist (which I love) can't completely replicate it.

MIKE:  Again, I won't rant about my dislike of the use of CGI with every film we review, but at least our viewers know my stance (I do love The Mist too).  Anyway, The Dead Zone is a triumph in creating the perfect blend of on-the-edge-of-your-seat, unnerving suspense, and that lull feeling one gets in the eye of a storm - just when you think it's over here comes the next jaw-dropping shocker!  I feel that the credit should go to Stephen King's skillful story-telling, but credit is also due to Cronenberg's style of directing: The Fly (86), The Brood (79), and Scanners (81) are just a couple more films that have benefited from his care for a well told story.  Too often horror films rely on a concept or gore effects to carry it through, and forego developed characters, meaningful plot, and a satisfying ending (you know, an ending where the villain/monster DOESN'T come back from the dead).  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good slasher as much as anyone else, but the modern market is flooded with those rehashed themes, and I think it's important for the horror fan out there to discover and appreciate the films that are more than just blood-n-guts.

MAX:  Cronenberg certainly has the market cornered where psychological horror is concerned, and this effort is no exception.  A lot of the strengths of this movie lie in the performances like you said, as well as a cast of dynamic characters whom we can really love---and hate.  And speaking of the hateable character, it's worth mentioning that Martin Sheen pulls off one hell of a role in this film (a politician as we've seen him play before, although this time much different than that paternal president we're used to on episodes the West Wing).  Sheen's character Greg Stillson is a presidential candidate but a real scum bag too.  Not just the usual bribe taking corruption stuff either.  When Johnny shakes his hand, he gets a direct vision that Stillson, if elected, will actually take the country straight into some kind of nuclear war.  Sheen plays this Stillson character with a brilliant menacing arrogance.  He's such a despicable little Hitler in training, we really want to tear him limb from limb.  By the time Johnny decides that he has to do something with this premonition he's received in his "dead zone" and take a stand, we are just about ready to fire the assassin’s bullet for him.

MIKE:  Martin Sheen's character is awesome!  When I watch this movie I wonder how a character like Greg Stillson would hold up in today's political climate.  It's funny that he is referred to as the state's "third party candidate," because he is the equivalent to the more modern movement of the Tea Party.  Sometimes I think I should run for some sort of office, but use all of Greg Stillson's lines from the movie for my speeches.  Politics and Stillson aside, Stillson's right-hand man, Sonny, is a force to reckon with.  He comes across as a mafia gun-for-hire, but the performance delivered by Geza Kovacs made the character even more menacing than just a hired thug.  What did you think, Max?

MAX:  Yeah, I think the two of them together make for a thoroughly dislikeable duo.  I also caught myself thinking about the Tea Party while we watched their campaign.  I think the interesting point of contemplation for me is the same question that Johnny asks his doctor.  If I knew that I could save the world from certain demise by taking out a politician who is to be a future dictator, would I do it?  I'm not going to answer that question, just in case the State Department happens to be reading this.

MIKE:  I don't know what you're talking about, Max.  I love my government *holds a little American flag out and waves it around*

MAX:  That is very patriotic of you, Mike.  I would never belittle you for being patriotic.  That would be un-patriotic of me.
MAX:  Seriously, though I don't want the Feds in the balcony...

MIKE:  Or in the dungeon...just saying.


MIKE:  Well this brings us to a close for the night (barring a federal investigation that might otherwise shut us down.  I mean, ha-ha-ha-ha, why would the feds bother little ol' us?).  The Dead Zone is a work of art: the acting, directing, make-up, and score are skillfully interwoven to create this breath taking masterpiece.  If you are a Stephen King fan, enjoy a well thought out horror story, and want to go on a thrilling ride that guarantees seat gripping suspense, then I cannot stress how much you NEED to see this movie.  I am giving The Dead Zone two Bloody Nubs up!

MAX:  I must concur with my fellow screamer's assessment.  This film possesses great re-watchability in all of the previously mentioned categories.  Another aspect that I think we nearly neglected to mention is that this is a love story.  Sarah never does really "turn her back" on Johnny, which is what makes the outcome of this film all the more tragic.  The Dead Zone is one of the few in the suspense/horror genre that is likely to choke you up as well, and that's always a nice surprise.  Two Bloody Nubs up from me too, as we send off our magnificent month of King.

Month of King: Thinner

MAX:  Hey, how's it going, Mike?

MIKE:  Bad 

MAX:  Uh-oh. Why bad?

MIKE:  Because there are a bunch of filthy, thieving, gypsies across the street from our theater. 

MAX:  Well, I don't know about all that. I think gypsies bring a lot of fun with them, don't you?

MIKE:  Fun? Are you joking? The bring disease, crime, and prostitution. What kind of fun is that? 

MAX:  Actually, it sounds like the kind of fun we had on our trip to New Orleans, remember?

MIKE:  Oh, yeah.  That was fun.  I guess gypsies aren't that bad after all. 

MAX:  Agreed. Once we're done watching this movie, let’s go across the street and join them!

MIKE:  Sweet! Hey, do you think if I give that cute gypsy girl a quarter she'll lift her skirt? 

MAX:  Dude I think she heard you say that...

MIKE:  What do you mean?  She's standing across the street.  She can't hear me. 

MAX:  No...she totally heard you....

MAX:  Thinner (1996) is a movie that is truly very close to my heart. As a matter of fact, this was actually the first horror movie I can remember renting from the video store in grade school, as a result of many battles with my parents, who still felt in the fifth grade that I was too young for R rated horror movies. This movie, based on the novel by Stephen King (as Richard Bachman), may not seem that scary by today's standards, but as an eleven year old, I'll tell you, it really scared the living piss out me. There were many nights (one particularly memorable during a lightning storm in North Carolina) where I lay awake in bed, in fear that the old gypsy man with the cancerous hole in his face was coming to get me.  Now, I know that probably sounds ridiculous, and I'd be the first to say so. In fact, Michael Constantine, the actor who played the old gypsy, Tadzu Lempke, is actually the same guy who plays the Windex spraying dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  All the same, I think this movie still holds up.  It's probably not the movie that anyone thinks of when they think Stephen King, but I think it is a damn good (and under-rated) adaptation of his work. For one thing, the use of special effects and make up in this movie are fantastic. The story, a meditation on blame and revenge, is also one that I think, will resonate with viewers, the way it continues to resonate with me. 

MIKE:  The theme of blame and revenge is what stuck with me after viewing this movie.  Now, I've only seen Thinner one other time, so I am not sentimentally attached to this film like my cohort is, and I don't lose sleep over the creepy old gypsy man Tadzu.   However, the idea that no one can accept their part of the blame is another issue.  Billy Halleck (Robert Burke) is a man with everything to lose (especially some weight), because he has what most people are looking to get out of this life: wealth, a steady job, a cute little family, and some prominence in the community.  It's funny to me how he feels like the victim, and that the curse placed upon him doesn't justify the means.  As a protagonist for the film, Billy is a hard guy to relate to; you want to see him suffer, if only because of his blatant arrogance. 

MAX:  The main way in which Billy feels that he is not (at least entirely) responsible for the accident, is that at the moment when his car hits the old gypsy woman (Susanne Lempke, the daughter of super creepy 106 year old Tadzu) he was receiving a blow job from his wife, Heidi.  In Billy's mind, Heidi is at least part responsible for why he wasn't watching the road. Kind of plays into his egotism, I'd tend to agree with you, Mike.  Still, all the same, it was an unfortunate ACCIDENT, and I guess that's why Billy feels a little miffed when he starts losing pound after pound of his gelatinous fat....all on account of the curse he receives from old man Lempke.  That moment when the old gyp reaches out and touches Billy across the face is a chilling scene, in my opinion. At that moment, I kind of do feel for Billy.  If only because he would like to forget this terrible accident and put it behind him, he's almost scott free, he's been acquitted of any potential charges and then BOOM. He's cursed. And we know as well as he does that his troubles are only just beginning. 

MIKE:  I see what you're saying, but we learn that the only reason why Billy was acquitted in the first place is because the judge and police chief co-conspire to get him off (not a single point on his license, even).  Billy has clout in the town (the movie starts off with him getting a mob boss off murder charges, so I'm sure that added to his status), and that is the only reason why he walks away from this unscathed.  The film does indicate that Billy wasn't "in" on the whole situation, but he couldn't have been THAT naive to not have expected any less.  The judge clearly has a problem with the gypsies being in town (if you can imagine a right-wing conservative speech about immigrants ruining America, then you have a good idea as to how the judge viewed the gypsies), and so did the police chief.  Tadzu might be a creepy, spiteful, old man, but he deserved some sort of justice, and for Billy to completely deny any responsibility for his actions, to me, means he got what he deserved.  Hey, Billy wasn't putting up too much of a fight when his wife went down on him in the car...I wouldn't have either, but I would have felt some sort of remorse for what had happened.  I think that's what makes it hard for me to feel sorry for him.  He only feels sorry for himself.

MAX:  Yes, I would tend to agree that the old man, Tadzu deserved "some sort of justice" as you put it.  I think that's exactly what this film plays on so cleverly: the idea of justice, and how that's meted out. The gypsies have their own code of justice that they invoke because they realize that the townies that inhabit Billy's lily white world will never treat them with any sort of civility. "Gypsy justice" is the term Lempke uses to describe what he's done to Chief Duncan Hubley and Judge Carey Rossington, by turning them into an elephant man and a human lizard, respectively.  For Billy, the punishment seems even more fitting, since he goes from being a rich fat pig to a poor shuddering skeleton within weeks. Of course, Billy isn't about to go down without a fight (as you said, he's unable to accept his own fate in this). He seeks his own form of vindication and justice in Richie "The Hammer" Ginelli (Joe Mantegna) a mafia gangster whose idea of justice is essentially a favor for a favor. He owes Billy big time, for keeping him out of prison, so he does everything within his power to help Billy settle the score. 

MIKE:  I loved watching Joe Mantegna in this film (I always get a kick seeing him work outside of The Simpsons).  But the REAL star, or should I say "supporting star," was Leda Rossington (Elizabeth Franz).  She was good...better than good...she was scary!  When Billy goes to Rossington's house to speak to the judge, and Leda is there, drunk off her ass, and completely hysterical, the crazier she got the more frightened I became of her.  Hell, for a moment there I thought she was going to try to kill Billy for what had happened to her husband; I think she should have tried.  The cast aside (for the most part I thought they all did a good job) what I struggled with was some of the dialogue.  At times it felt forced and unnatural, and at other times it became a bit too repetitive: "White man from town," being one that started off as kind of fun, but then got a bit too silly for my taste.

MAX:  Ditto on Elizabeth Franz's performance. Her crazed rant at Billy is another one of the scariest moments in the film. The fact that she can make us feel that fearful by just 'acting' is really a credit to her ability. Joe Mantegna is amazing in this movie, too. Even when he delivers cheesy lines like, "He was my mook," I think he is 100% believable and hilarious at the same time. Some of the dialogue does suffer at certain points of the movie. I'd agree that the "white man from town" business is dragged out just a bit too long.  For some reason the acting between Billy and his wife Heidi never seems quite believable enough to me, and I don't know if that's the acting or the writing. In either case, all of this is redeemed for me in the above performances we mentioned, as well as the outstanding use of special effects.  I love Billy's body suits (both thin and fat) and the makeup on Michael Constantine as Tadzu, is impeccable. 

MIKE:  The special effects are great, and the dialogue in the film doesn't really hinder it as much as I might have made it sound: it is clunky at times, but when it works it really flows well with the rest of the film.  My favorite special effect is the pie.  Yeah, Billy's transformation is cool, but there's just something about the way the pie pulsed, as though it were alive, that made me want to puke a little.

MAX:  Absolutely. The pulsating pie is the best! I love that fucking pie. 

MIKE:  Yeah, you do.

MAX:  Interestingly, the pie holds a lot real value in this story.  First of all it's an appropriate object in which to transfer Billy's curse, because it's food, and we all know how much Billy likes food. But there's another layer to this idea of the cursed pie, in that Billy must feed it to someone he believes is more deserving of his fate.  Billy immediately resolves to give it to his wife Heidi, seeing as he feels she's the one who's really responsible. Billy is also convinced that Heidi has been having an affair with his physician Dr. Mikey, which obviously fuels his vengeful intentions, although this suspicion of his is never completely confirmed. Anyway, the point is, Lempke urges Billy to eat his own pie, so he can, in effect, "die clean". At first this notion seems absurd to Billy, but once his daughter eats a piece of the cursed pie, his opinion changes pretty quick.  By finally eating his own pie, Billy is taking at least some accountability for his role in this mess.  However, it's really the cost of vengeance, the way he's harmed his own daughter, that drives him over the edge. 

MIKE:  Except we don't see him eat the pie.  Dr. Mikey makes an appearance at the door (just dropping by for a doctor's visit so early in the morn'?), which stops Billy from eating the pie.  We could ASSUME that he will have a slice along with Dr. Mikey, but the look in his eyes and on his face, when he realizes that his revenge will be complete, suggested to me that he might take this as a clean slate and start from scratch (get it?  You know, like making a pie from, “scratch.”  Get it?  I'm so witty).

MAX:  Yeah...you would be...and this may be a flaw in the film...but it's pretty clearly explained in the book that Billy plans to finish the pie with Dr. Mikey.  He's going down but he's taking the doctor with him, because guilty or not, he just really hates that guy. 

MIKE:  Then I guess that is a flaw on both myself and the film (see, I owe to my mistakes).  I never read the book (It's on my list), and because Billy displays such malice towards his family at times (not sure if this is a result of the curse, but that was my impression), I wasn't sold on the idea that he would have a slice too.  It makes sense that he would go down in a blaze of glory, but I can't also help think that he would wait for Dr. Mikey to die (just to be sure, after all, he is a meticulous lawyer), and by then decide to start his life over again.

MAX:  Yeah,  it's an interesting point to contemplate, especially because Billy doesn't really ever seem to learn his lesson...not until it's too late anyway...and even then, he's still thinking about getting even. Anyway, the witching hour is upon us and we tired screamers here in the balcony are ready to weigh in with our bloody nubs. As I've mentioned, I think Thinner completely rules. The fact that I can still be so excited about this movie after so much time is just further evidence to me of how much I love this genre. I would encourage any fans of King to check this movie out. For a movie that didn't do so well in the theaters, it packs a much harder punch than you'd think.  Two Bloody Nubs up and a blood filled pie to go, please. 

MIKE:  I'll forego the pie and take the BJ, please.  Thinner is an enjoyable movie that takes you on one hell of a ride.  I'll have to take Max's word that the film is a good adaptation of the book and move it up my Must Read list.  The special effects and interesting characters make Thinner re-watchable, and though some of you might agree that the dialogue stumbles in places, I feel that overall, you'll have a good time.  I'm giving Thinner two Bloody Nubs up!