Halloween III: The Unforgettable-Forgettable Sequel

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween/ Eight more days to Halloween/ Silver Shamrock!

MAX:  Stop it. 

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

MAX:  For god's sake, stop it. 

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

MAX:  Stop it. Stop it. 

MIKE:  Eight more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

MAX:  STOP IIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIKE:  What's the matter?  Don't you have a Halloween spirit?

MAX:  No!

MIKE:  The concept of the Halloween franchise, as originally conceived by producers/writers John Carpenter and Debra Hill, was that each new Halloween movie was to be a different story.  The original film and its sequel followed Michael Myers (a mask wearing, knife wielding killer) chasing after the sweet, innocent Lori Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis).  The first film was a ground breaking movie in the horror genre, and fans gobbled it up; they wanted more of this Myers character, and when they saw that there was going to be a Halloween III, the masses cheered.  However, Halloween III: Season of the Witch didn't deliver on the Mike Myers goods, and fans called foul.  Out of the said franchise, Season of the Witch is often considered to be the worst film of the bunch.  I disagree whole heartedly with that point of view, and consider this movie to be completely under-appreciated for what it was trying to do: tell a new, original horror story that takes place on Halloween.  I love my killers (Freddy, Jason, and Michael), but franchises have a way of deluding those characters and stories into walking, slashing clichés.  Halloween III is a fun horror movie with an interesting concept that deals with ancient Celtic practices and myths.  I think it's funny that Max and I have reviewed two movies this month (Trick’r Treat being the other) that deal with ancient traditions and folklore.  Maybe that's why I love this movie so much...that and Tom Atkins, of course. 

MAX:  Agreed.  The first time I saw Halloween III: Season of the Witch, I was in high school and it was playing in the afternoon on AMC during their annual month long October horror movie marathon.  I was so excited to watch it because I thought it was a Michael Myers movie that I'd never seen before, though I soon learned that it had absolutely nothing to do with the previous Halloween films.  By the end of the movie, I remember being bored and really irritated that I had just wasted 2 hours of my life on this weirdness.  Now, today, I absolutely love it.  That's because if you're a real horror fan, you have to love Halloween III.  You have to love Halloween III because you toughed it out and sat through it, and the more you think about it, it's actually a very fun movie with a cheesy (but amazing) plot.  It may seem outrageous to say this, but I think if more modern horror movies displayed the kind of imagination that went into Halloween III, we'd have a better bunch of movies out today.  That's because Halloween III was a labor of love.  It may have been a box office failure but it will always be considered (an arguable) genre success. 

MIKE:  What might be the movie's down fall, is probably its greatest triumph: the ridiculous acting.  What helps the viewer to mull through this film's story are the actors, lead by none other than Tom Atkins.  I'm going to attempt to spare the reader my man-love-obsession with Mr. Atkins, but the man is a fucking genius when it comes to being a character actor, and he IS quite the character in every movie I've seen him in (Night of the Creeps being my favorite Atkins film).  Atkins gives life to an otherwise dull character, Dr. Daniel Challis (I don't even like the name).  His interactions with all of the other characters, especially the female ones who seem to undress Atkins with their eyes, give this film the perfect lightheartedness to unsettle the viewer from the horrors taking place.  I'm personally a fan of the special effects (though, by far, not nearly as good as other classic horror films), and the creepy men in suits who turn up whenever the shit is about to hit the fan. 

MAX:  Tom Atkins, in my opinion, is probably the spiritual figure-head of 80's horror.  Whether he's a dad that hates "horror crap", a tired beat detective, or an alcoholic sea-faring bachelor, Atkins always manages to bring a fantastic combination of masculine bravado, cheap cologne and Schlitz to every role he's in.  However, (aside from Night of the Creeps), I think it's Halloween III where Atkins really shines.  The way he pats the nurse on the butt, flirts with female doctors, and avoids his ex-wife and children to go play "Sherlock" with a suspiciously young girl in a cheap motel, you kind of just have to admire this guy.  Besides that, I love the way he rattles off lines like, "Slow down, slow down.  It's getting late and I could use a drink."    This is truly his movie.  Atkins sells the whole thing. 

MIKE:  Agreed.  Atkins is always given the best catch phrases.  However, the actual plot is a bit like trying to swallow a jagged jawbreaker whole--it ain't going to happen.  A news report near the beginning of the movie explains that one of the famous stones of Stonehenge has been mysteriously stolen, but this seems irrelevant given in which the movie starts off (a guy running away from strange men wearing suits, while holding a pumpkin mask).  Honestly, the lack of interest in this news piece as seen by the characters (hell, even the announcer of the story lacks any emotional care or curiosity about a two-ton ancient stone vanishing without a trace), makes the brief clip forgettable.  I know I wasn't thinking about it when it's revealed to be hiding in one of the warehouses at the Silver Shamrock factory. The idea is that a Warlock, guised as an elderly business man, is harnessing the power of this particular stone (the moon stone to be specific) to murder a bunch of kids, because the stars and planets are perfectly aligned and ancient practices requires a sacrifice.  The reasoning is not very clear, except that the junction or equinox, or whatever demands for blood to be spilled.  It sounds like I'm bashing the movie, but I'm not.  I really enjoy this concept, though I think the execution misfired. 

MAX:  Atkins (to girl): Misfire? What the hell were they talking about?

MAX(continued):  You are absolutely right in that this is a misfire, and a very enjoyable one at that.  I think it's the fact that they aimed so high with the occult/Stonehenge angle.  You just can't make references to Stonehenge and have it not be funny...I mean, think about This is Spinal Tap!  Of course, it's the absolute seriousness with which this plot is treated that puts things over the edge and makes the movie so ultimately endearing.   The protagonists in this film are staying in an Irish town in California by the name of Santa Mira, where they are trying to infiltrate a Halloween-mask making company called Silver Shamrock.  I don't think a screenplay with that premise could ever get sold today, and the enthusiasm with which they tried to push the suspense in this basically dead story is beyond commendable, it's applaudable.  Somehow, at least for die-hard horror fanatics, this movie still possesses re-watchability.  I would attribute that in part to the influence of Carpenter and Hill as producers.  This film has the "classic Carpenter" feeling to it both in the synth heavy score and soft glowing visuals.  And of course where the visuals are concerned, I can't neglect to mention Dean Cundey.  Carpenter's always faithful cinematographer really serves it up in this movie, adding an atmospheric touch to scenes that could have just as easily looked bland and banal. 

MIKE:  I think what we need to do here, though we've pretty much have gone through half of the review without really talking about it, is explain the story to our viewers.  Dr Daniel "Dan" Challis (again, a really bad character name) played by our favorite Tom Atkins, works at a hospital when a strange man, clutching a child's Halloween mask, and gripped in silent fear, manages to mumble to the doctor, "They're going to kill us.  All of us!"  Challis brushes of the man's rants as mere hysteria, but the mystery thickens when a strange tall man, wearing a business suit and black gloves, visits the patient at the hospital and breaks his skull.  The man in the suit then goes to his car and sets himself on fire (made me think of a modern-day terrorist of sorts), and leaves behind only charred remains of metal, plastic, and gear bits.  Challis is then visited by the dead patient's daughter, Ellie Grimbridge (another really bad sounding character name), and the two of them go to a small town to investigate the mask making factory the Silver Shamrock, and become entangled in the town's dark secrets. 

MAX:  Yeah once Challis and Ellie are entangled in the creepy town, the darkness begins to emerge piece by piece, kind of like in a Lovecraft story.  Except unlike Lovecraft, I'm not sure I would say that the town's secret reveals anything truly "horrifying," per say.  The conspiracy behind the Silver Shamrock Factory, which you alluded to earlier, is absolutely fantastic. While it is, in most ways, a very satisfying explanation, it’s still just comes off more corny than scary.  At the same time, while the moments of action and suspense in this film are not all that scary, there are still some really great special effects that honestly never get old for me.  The effects in this movie are about as fun to watch as any other movie from this era.  No one who loves 80's horror can really forget that part in the motel bed, or the Kupfer family's test viewing of that catchy Silver Shamrock commercial. 

MIKE:  Snakes, grubs, and bugs. Oh my! 

MAX:  I think there is something so wrong about that scene...once again...I'm not going to say it's scary...but you just don't see a lot of children meeting with gruesome deaths like that these days...not in such a graphic way, anyhow.  Maybe it's the fact that it happens in front of his parents...I don't know.

MIKE:  I think what works for that scene in particular is that you never think to yourself, "Gee, I hope this mask that I'm buying doesn't cause my head to burst open like a piñata, spilling creepy crawly things all over the place." 

MAX:  So, so true.  It's such a weird idea I almost have to wonder how they came up with it.  In a way, that's kind of how I feel about the whole story line...that it's just a bunch of ridiculous half-baked ideas that one would never actually commit to paper.  Yet in this case the writers actually did.  And it's commendable too.

MAX(continued):  Also that Silver Shamrock theme song....It's like the horror movie version of "The Song That Doesn't End" from Lamb Chop.  I mean, that song alone, kind of makes the whole movie for me. 

MIKE:  I bet the idea behind this story stems from some writer's kid going, "This would be totally gross...such and such," and then the writer going, "I've got nothing better than this."

MIKE(continued):  I agree that the music is infectious.  Once I start thinking about it I can't get it out of my head: the carnival music repeats over and over, and then the words repeat over and over...AAAAHHHHH!!!!  GET OUT...OF...MY...MIND!!!!! 

MAX:  Well with that iconic jingle firmly stuck in our heads, it's time to weigh in with our Bloody Nubs of approval for this film.  Personally, while I acknowledge people's distaste for this movie, I would encourage people who have already seen it to go back and watch it with a more open mind.  This is not really part of the Halloween franchise, but it is a quintessential Halloween movie all the same.  If you are looking for something truly creepy to watch, you may want to stick with Freddy or Michael, but if you want to watch a seasonal movie that is laugh out loud fun and goofy, this is a sure thing!  I give it one Bloody Nub down for being not such a great movie, but another Bloody Nub up for consistently kicking ass!

MIKE:  Tom Atkins makes Halloween III: Season of the Witch worth viewing.  He takes the crappiest screenplay and turns it into pure gold by portraying his character very seriously.  This movie fails to do what Carpenter and Hill intended it to do, which was to tell another gripping horror story that takes place on Halloween night, and unfortunately sets up the rest of the franchise to rape the hell out of Michael Myers with shittier storytelling.  I give this film one Bloody Nub up for originality and Atkins, but one MAJOR Bloody Nub down for basically begging the studio to revisit and fuck up the original Michael Myers story.